Did I say that out loud?

Thoughts and musings of a mom

Things you learn when camping

on July 22, 2013

Our family does not go camping very often, but we always have good intentions. We have had the same tent now for 17 years and remarkably it is still in good condition, but like I said before, we don’t go camping very often. This past weekend, we made a trek out to our local National Park and roughed it for two whole days. Ok, so I could still text and we had indoor plumbing (down the road), but we were in a tent. It was definitely not “glamping” by any stretch of the imagination. So in an effort to give you an idea of our weekend, I will share with you the 11 things I learned about camping and life in general while out with/in the wild.

1. The number of times you need to go to the bathroom is directly correlated to the distance one’s tent is located from the bathroom. The more you need to go, the farther your tent is located. (I just impressed myself. I haven’t used the word “correlated” in a sentence since 1996.)
2. The main door to the above mentioned bathroom is shut most of the time for a very good reason. Birds/bats will enter it when open and do their business in there as well. Their aim is slightly worse than that of the average 2 year old.
3. A king-sized air mattress is smaller than a king-sized bed. If it is not, then those who have paid money for a king have paid too much.
4. King-sized air mattresses were not designed for 2 adults and 2 children to sleep on at the same time.
5. A six man tent is not really a 6 man tent. Don’t let the little diagram on the box of the 6 sleeping bags inside of the tent fool you. A 6 man tent is really only a nice 2 man tent. By my calculations, we need a 12 man tent for our family of four.
6. When your husband says, “I think the potheads next door have left,” in front of your 8 year old, you may end up having to explain what a pothead is.
7. S’mores should only be administered with an adult dose of melatonin. I’m kidding. Relax.
8. Showers in campgrounds are similar to public washrooms. They are much more enticing to my child than the one at home. On the positive side, I had one relatively clean kid. So if I wanted to take advantage of this at home, I should start calling up my neighbours one street over and seeing if we can use their bathroom. Yeah, ok, so that’s not going to work.
9. My hips have less padding than I thought.
10. Regardless of how many organic products you try to use on a daily basis, all of that can be thrown out the window when the Bug Activity Index for mosquitoes is anything higher than “low.” DEET can be your friend. On a side note, who is the poor guy who gets to measure for that one every day? Danger pay, my friend, danger pay.
11. Wal-Mart had (bigger) tents on sale last week.

Well, there you have it folks. I’m sure we will be heading out again before the summer is over. Here’s to many more nights in a (bigger) tent this summer!

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