Did I say that out loud?

Thoughts and musings of a mom

Contemplating a tattoo

on July 28, 2013

I saw a man out in the community one day with whom my husband is acquainted. He had a tattoo on his arm indicating the magnitude of importance he felt for a particular volunteer activity. I thought that in this particular situation, I could see myself getting a tattoo. I see people getting tattoos that represent a special part of their lives all the time. So my husband and I got to thinking. What kind of tattoo should I get if I were to ever travel down that path to becoming inked?

Well, let’s take a look at the various aspects of my life. I am an elementary school teacher. Maybe I should put an apple on my bicep. Nah, too predictable. Oh, what about one of those phrases that appear on mugs? “To teach is to touch a life forever.” Better on a mug than anywhere on my body. How about the alphabet in cursive writing? Hmmm. And other professions you ask? What if I was in IT? Would I get a tat of a laptop? Your tat would be outdated before the ink even dried. What if I was a nurse? Would I get a tat of a syringe or a blood pressure cuff? I could go on for quite a while here.

Maybe I should look at taking another approach to this. Let’s look at my interests. I like to read. Let’s say a book then. I could have a tat of a book. Well, it probably should have words in it or on the cover. What book would I choose? It should have meaning in my life. I like murder mysteries and the occasional chick lit. Probably not appropriate. What about another interest? I like to bike. Ok, so I’ve only biked around the subdivision so far this summer. Not a good idea for a tattoo. I like to watch television. A tat of my favourite tv series? It would be cancelled the next week for sure. What about food? I really like to eat. A pizza and a nacho dip, right there on my arm. I would be like a walking grocery list.

What about religion? I am a Christian. I could get a Bible verse. I like to read and it’s the Bible, it could work. I’ve seen some tats of Bible verses and they really are nice. But then what version of the Bible do I go with? Kick it old school and go with King James or go for a more contemporary version. And then some verses would be appropriate, others not so much (the book of Numbers would be a prime example here).

What about my family? I could get a tattoo of them. I have a loving husband and two wonderful children. We had a picture of my children put a blanket for my mother-in-law once, which seemed like a nice idea at the time, but now seeing my daughter’s then bald head forever depicted on that blanket seems a little freaky at times. I’m bound to have one of them upset with me because they grew up hating the picture I chose, and then there’s the nagging feeling that I should perhaps flip the bill for the inevitable therapy that would take place. I can see it all now. My daughter, is laying on a couch, complaining to the therapist that her mother chose the picture of her missing a tooth while her sister has her complete set sparking on her mother’s forearm. That’s just not going to work.

So in the end, here are my reasons why I cannot get a tattoo. One, I could never make up my mind, which now must be very obvious. It took me two years to figure out what colour I was going to paint my living room. Do you really think I could ever make up my mind? I can paint over my living room if I don’t like it. I have enough money to get a tattoo. I do not have enough money to get rid of it. Heck! I can’t even commit to waterproof mascara! Two, although it is usually considered a good thing to have something grow with time, like the price of real estate or a plant, a tat at my age is probably only going to grow, and that wouldn’t be a good thing. With a little aging and sagging, that apple would become a whole bushel, or that book an entire three volume set. I want the ladies at the nursing home someday to laugh with me, not at me. And finally, I almost completely forgot. I am scared to death of needles. Yeah, now THAT could be a problem.


4 responses to “Contemplating a tattoo

  1. lori murphy says:

    As a person with tattoo’s I was concerned that your post might sting a little( pun intended) but I laughed like crazy! You are a gifted writer and comedian ,friend.

  2. Betty Beatty-Powers says:

    Christy…I am SO ENJOYING your blogs….especially this one!!

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