Did I say that out loud?

Thoughts and musings of a mom

That time I went to Walmart…

on July 30, 2014

It is not a big secret that I love shopping at Walmart. I know it may not be something that some would admit, but I really do. My fashion sense does not dictate that I shop elsewhere for a large portion of what I wear each day. So it is fitting perhaps that I began to go into labour for my youngest child while shopping there one day. I had read the novel about the young girl giving birth and living there with her baby, so I got out of there pretty quick on that particular day. Good idea in concept, but their pharmacy does not carry what I needed in those moments (or hours, I should say).

So one day, two weeks ago, on a fairly routine visit to our local Walmart, I must have fallen down in the parking lot, hit my head on the pavement, and acquired amnesia in true soap opera style. I say this because shortly afterwards, I walked into the store and agreed to buy my youngest child a big box of the giant (some would say jumbo) clear plastic tubes filled with coloured sugar-entrenched juice that would be immediately placed in my freezer once I arrived back home. These particular specimens have the nutritional value of cement basically.

Now I’m not saying that those who have bought this awe-filled delightful treat, which inspire many heartfelt childhood summer memories, must have received a blow to their heads beforehand. What I am saying is that my daughter really does not need more sugar in her little growing body, and at times (ok, every day between 4-8pm), cannot handle the consequences of consuming this sweetened delicacy (a little pooh-pooh on those who believe that food does not affect behaviour).

Somehow in the midst of my apparent fall, and subsequent bump and amnesia (that by the way, did not require medical attention), I was able to reach far into the depths of my remaining properly working (some would argue this) faculties, and tell my daughter that this treat came with a certain amount of responsibilities.

As if in a contest for Miss Universe, I gave her the rules and regulations and what should occur if for some reason she could not fulfil the duties of being a responsible treat owner and consumer. Basically, behave or lose the sugar.

I thought the first couple days went well, time progressed, and my faculties returned to their pre-soap opera style amnesia functioning. Perhaps a large part of this may be in part due to the fact that the treats weren’t frozen yet.

But I am now to the point in the box consumption where I am looking for ways to get rid of the remaining treats. I have come up with a number of ideas, some of which may actually work…
~ Hand them out to the other children in the neighbourhood. Trouble is I would like the parents to like me.
~ Distribute them to the road crews fixing our roads and highways on these very hot summer days. This one may work. Hopefully I have enough though. I may need to buy a new box to make it fair for everyone. And then there could be leftovers. Ugh.
~ Distribute them to the sanitation workers in our community, as their job can’t be any easier in this summer heat. Our next collection day is not until Monday, and this is only Wednesday.
~ Bury them in the backyard, throw them out, or leave them at the end of the driveway so someone will pick them up. The problem here is that my daughter will still find and retrieve them.
~ Take them out of the freezer, therefore thawing the little wonders. Good plan until my daughter sticks them back into the freezer and we just prolong the agony.
~ Distribute them to roofers, who like the above mentioned men and women, would probably appreciate a cool and refreshing treat. There’s a house being built just down the street from here. Problem solved. Timing could be an issue though. They are just finishing the basement.
~ I could eat them. Take one for the team. No, not going to work. Not easy to sneak, not a big fan and she will notice my discoloured mouth.

Well, I suppose I should just suck it up (quite literally in this case), finish off the rest of the box and let this be a lesson learned for myself.

And in the meantime, I think I’ll go google ways to make carrot sticks more attractive (insert enthusiastic Yum Yum!).


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