Did I say that out loud?

Thoughts and musings of a mom

Five Minute Friday: Exhale

This week I am linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for another Five Minute Friday. Our topic today is Exhale.

All week I have thought about my daughter being away at her first week of overnight camp. We haven’t had any contact with her throughout this week, and so I keep wondering how she is doing. It’s been strange having only one child at home when I am so familiar with the two of them in a balancing act of creating chaos.

All week I’ve been wondering, curious, at times fearful, anxious, wanting to be a fly on the wall, waiting, waiting, waiting. Yet knowing that she will be fine, fall in love with her experience, and want to go again long before next summer arrives on our calendar.

But I will exhale when I have her wrapped in my arms, being able to touch her, smell her, hear her again. Have her with me.

And she will exhale, as she excitedly shares her week with me, before drifting off to sleep, reliving her week in her dreams.


Five Minute Friday: Lost

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo Baker for another Five Minute Friday. Our topic today is Lost.

I want to be lost in the long, hot days of summer.
Not immediately knowing what day it is.
Live in the moment.
Take the time to read more.
Laugh more.
Write more.
Relax more.
Sit down with my girls and listen.
Eat with my friends and enjoy the sweet taste of the barbecue.
Walk down the street.
Take pictures with my camera and my mind.
Be lost.
And yet found all at the same time.


Five Minute Friday: Close

Yesterday we registered my oldest daughter for summer camp. Five whole nights without her. Five whole days without her here throughout the day. No silly jokes, no stories with vivid details, no reading of chapter books long after she should really be in bed asleep. I’ll even miss the bedtime negotiations, turning off the television shows, and kicking her outside to enjoy the sunshine. I just want to hold her and not let her go. Not let her grow up and be capable of being without her mother by her side every minute of a week.

I want to protect her from all of the hurts and disappointments of this world.

But camp is a good thing. She will learn there, have fun and enjoy new friends and the great outdoors.

In the meantime though, for the next few weeks, before she begins to pack her bags, I want to hold her tight and keep her close.

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. Our topic today is Close.


Five Minute Friday: Grateful

I am grateful.

I really am.

I try to be.

A beautiful family,

A warm home,

A good job,

Close friends,

The list could go on for miles.

And yet, there I am in a season of restlessness, tiredness, waiting,

And a longing to be refreshed, ready, at peace,

Always Grateful.

I am joining Lisa-Jo Baker for another Five Minute Friday, where the topic today is Grateful.

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Five Minute Friday: Glue

Tonight after supper, I walked behind my daughter and her friend as they biked down the street, keeping a watchful eye on them. In an effort to stay out and enjoy the day as much as they possibly could, they busied themselves trying to gather as many other friends on their little journey around the block. I soaked in the last rays of the sun’s warmth and rejoiced in their blessing of friendship.

Throughout our lives we make many different kinds of friends, perhaps somewhat dependent on life’s situations at the time. Friends that stick like glue through thick and thin and others that are only for a season. It’s not so much that some friendships are poorly designed necessarily or that we “un-friend” someone, but there’s a natural ebb and flow within friendships, just as there is with many things in life. Circumstances change, people move, jobs finish, and life gets in the way.

For the last several weeks, this topic has rented a fair amount of space in my head. I want to develop those friendships I have with my friends more deeply. I don’t want to be the glue stick friend who just has an attractive cover, may change colours when applied, and often times, can’t really cut the tough job of being a friend at all times. I want to be the crazy glue kind of friend who sticks around, may go unnoticed at times by others because there is no glitz and glam, but is there and dependable, ready with that listening ear and a cup of tea.

Today I join with Lisa-Jo Baker for another Five Minute Friday. Our topic today is Glue.


Five Minute Friday: Paint

It had been one of those weeks. The kind that lasts longer than the regular 7 days. It was supposed to be an easier week than the week prior, but somehow life got in the way of that. Exhaustion came quickly. Regrets surfaced. Lost grip on peace.

I was never a worrier growing up, but somewhere down the road, I acquired it on like a piece of luggage, strapped to my wrist in a bustling airport.

I made poor decisions. Exaggerated wrongs in my mind. Didn’t sleep enough. No renewal. Good choices and deeds crowded out by the uneasiness of mistakes.

And then in order to clean up the week, pack it away and settle into a more restful time, I looked around the room. There in the corner were the paint brushes left soaking in the water, forgotten after a tiring day. I took them out of their container, and washed the paint out of them, running the water through their hardened, little bristles. Softening them up, cleaning off the residue of the week, and ready to use for another day.

Tomorrow is a new day though. A time to refresh, renew, rest, and then take my paintbrushes and create a new beginning.

Today I linked up with Lisa Jo Baker for another Five Minute Friday. The theme today was Paint.


Five Minute Friday: Writer

She rented a small, crude and somewhat rustic, cottage on the side of the quiet lake for a week one summer. It was her getaway from the busyness of everyday life, the phone calls, the doctor appointments, the noise, the traffic. It was one week to go to a place where there would be peace, near the stillness of the water.

She knew that the disease that was coursing through her body may some day overtake her, but for that one week, she walked in the water, sat near it, listened to it. And reflected. And wrote.

She wrote a book for my daughters, her granddaughters that she would never get to see grow up. The girls that would carry on her name, her charm, her beauty, her talent, her joy of life, her compassion.

She did not want her stories to be lost, so she wrote and wrote and wrote. At the end of the week, she took her hand-scribbled notes to a neighbour, who typed them for her. Technical details were dealt with later and it was sent away to be completed by a photo-book company.

My mother-in-law was an amazing person, and a blessing to everyone. One day, as my girls grow older, they will be incredibly thankful that their grandmother was a writer that week.

Today I linked up with Lisa-Jo Baker for her Five Minute Friday. Feel free to check her blog out and link in with some amazing writers.


Five Minute Friday: Joy


It’s a walk down a well trodden path.

It’s opening a new book.

It’s a smile from a friend.

It’s finishing a project.

It’s the first bite of a delicious meal.

It’s company.

It’s peace and quiet.

It’s resting your head on a soft pillow at night.

It’s your child grabbing for your hand.

It’s first steps and first words.

It’s a kiss.

Simple treasures from above.

Today I join up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. The topic this week is Joy.


Five Minute Friday: Crowd


Walking into the crowd, I hesitate, sit.

This is where I want to be.

To feel your presence.

To thank you, welcome you, be amazed by you.

And yet, there is a distraction.

Something that says I am all alone in this crowd.


Physically, emotionally and spiritually alone here.

Not embraced.

Not loved.

Shush. Ignore. Turn away from.

Because I am loved. Embraced.

By God, here, while alone in this crowd.

As are all of the others who are alone in this crowd.

Today I join up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. Our topic today is: Crowd.


Five Minute Friday: Write


As a teenager, I loved to read and write. It was fun, an escape. I would write corny poetry (admit it, you probably did too), the occasional short story, and letter after letter to pen pals.

In fact, it was through these letters, that I actually was given the opportunity, by my parents, to meet one of my pen pals. For several years, my friend, Stacey, and I would write several letters a year back and forth. Page after page. Each letter signed off with a “Write back soon!”

And then full-fledged adulthood hit, bills, stress, jobs, and our letters petered off until eventually we no longer heard from each other.

I still wrote, but life became filled with reports, tests, documentation, and soon that was the only writing I was doing. The only leisure writing was a quick email or status update. But last summer happened, and I decided to write again. For fun. Because I wanted to. An escape like the old days.

Now to just pick up a real piece of paper, and write an old friend a letter that should have been written long ago.

Today I joined up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. The topic today was: Write.

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